5 simple things that make my life feel softer and happier

Turning 30 in May has made me reflect on my twenties and how life has panned out. As well as feeling insightful and emotional ( sad, happy, resentful, and all the rest!) My main focus these days is to make life feel softer and happier.
I think turning 30 is hitting millennials hard because, in all honesty, it feels like the end of an era. Our twenties are the first ten years of adulthood, aren’t they? That entails a whole load of emotions, life events, and memories that shape us.

Personally, my twenties have been a rollercoaster that has made me want to get off a few times. There has been an overwhelming amount of loss and grief, mental health, addiction. As well as things that I had 0 control over. Which, if I am completely honest, has felt pretty cruel and has led to feeling bitter. Why me? Why did these things have to happen to me? A bitter pill to swallow is accepting what happened and knowing it cannot be undone.

Some songs just hit different

I was recently talking with my best friend after having a chat. We said about how the people we grew up with have led such different lives. It’s sad that some are sadly no longer with us.

I was saying to her about that song, Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran. It hits differently at our age. We knew that song when it came out but now we understand it. That’s the big difference. Think about the lyrics for a minute and how it is so true when it comes to our lives! Everyone we grew up with has lived a different story from the other. Going home can feel like a beautiful reuinion of memories that made us who we are. That can make life feel softer because it’s where we were happiest.

One friend left to sell clothes, one works down by the coast
One had two kids but lives alone, one’s brother overdosed
One’s already on his second wife, one’s just barely getting by
But these people raised me and I can’t wait to go home

• Ed Sheeran, Castle on the hill.

Finding simple things that bring joy is a must

5 things that make my life feel softer

The thing with those lyrics is that they remind us that life is short and forever evolving. We are ageing from the teenagers we once were, and for some, life has been harder, more raw or difficult. So, in the here and now is the most precious time of our lives.

I guess where I was going with this is that life isn’t always plain sailing; some storms set us back. In fact, life can sometimes be draining, heavy, and tough. Therefore, if you find joy in anything, even the simplest of habits. Utilise that habit to bring some contentment in the here and now.

Anything that can bring happiness or contentment in life makes it worthwhile; from songs, films or even a good home cooked meal where you create something you’ve always fancied but never tried. You find your self ditching the takeaway and start searching to find a Ramen Broth Recipe to make your own noodles and suddenly you’ve unlocked a new favourite. Joy is created by ourselves and whatever we find makes life softer is 100% what we should always focus on.

1. A cup of tea in the morning – For me, when I wake up early, the first thing I want to do is go downstairs, take my medication and make a cuppa. When the weather is warmer, summer is upon us, is the best because I sit outside and enjoy the peace, morning fog, and the birds singing. A moment where things are just calm, quiet, and I can have a moment of mindfulness before the day ahead.
   
2. Taking time to do something you enjoy – One thing my best friend loves is to potter in the garden pottering around and watering the flowers. I always remember the summers where the kids are finally in bed after the dinner /bath routine madness, and we are FaceTiming whilst she’s watering the plants. The sun’s setting and it’s her moment of serenity and calm to unwind after a long day being mum and simply be Zoe. Something else I strangely enjoy and so does she, is cleaning. A bit of music and housework does something to the soul and makes us feel accomplished and happy with our home. As someone who doesn’t enjoy gardening, I never used to understand how this could be such a fond ritual of hers. Now I fully understand that it is her escapism and moment of joy, much like mine, enjoying a cuppa in the morning outside. To her, that’s her enjoyable thing to do; we all have different hobbies, and that’s exactly why it’s important to discover your own hobbies for a softer life.
   
3. Seeing friends – Seeing a friend or loved one even if for a quick coffee can improve our mood almost instantly. I have had days where the whole day has been draining or heavy and the minute I am on facetime or go to see my nephews for dinner it’s a boost I realise I needed. A problem halved is a problem solved so they say but sometimes the distraction and qaulity time can boost our self esteem in ways that our soul thanks us for and make life feel softer.
   
4. Have a moment of reflection or mindfulness – To keep my brain in a routine with housework and life admin, as Mel Robbins calls it. I have an app called Finch, which is great for building routine and learning to reflect on your day. One of my tasks is to reflect on 1 thing I’ve done well on that day and something that has felt heavy. When people tell you that writing it down helps, trust me, they are so right because it is out of your mind, taking up space.
   
5. Take a walk outside – I cannot stress enough how fresh air can give such a dompamine boost, it is incredibly beneficial for the mind and soul. Even if it is sitting outside in the garden or a simple 10 minute stroll, it makes my life a little softer and my mood brighter. No one’s saying hike a mountain, don’t worry!

Life can be tough, find joy in the little things and be mindful about what is positive and cherish those moments. What brings you joy or makes life feel softer?